Please see some of the images from our LUXURY Chalet....
Yes - this is the toilet seat hanging off. And why is it so dark I hear you ask......that would be because the light bulb wasn't working!
The Chalet consisted of 1 double bed and 2 twin rooms, the double bed was made, and 3 of the single beds.........I guess that they were too tired to make this bed, or even leave a duvet cover for us to do it ourselves! Excellent work Solway Holiday Village.
This is a picture of the glorious vinyl flooring that is in the kitchen, if you cannot work it out the white object is the fridge, and the black spots is welded mold, complimented by a hole in the floor.....oh and I also forgot the funky smell.
I know that when you go on holiday you don't expect the villa or chalet to be ordained with luxurious ornaments - but a smashed in lamp.......really? Is this the high standard of Solway and Hoseasons?
DAY 2
Having reluctantly used the hot tub, we thought that day 2 at Solway Holiday Village would bring better things, and maybe we need to give it a chance......?
We woke up to the following view...
Nice, isn't it!? Turning around we discovered the back door to the property. (if you can call it that)
Need a closer look...
Made from the finest rotten wood that you can find. No expense spared..........? This brings me on to another point. Remember that Solway Holiday Village is on the West coast and therefore can be a little chilly, also remember that you have to put coins in the electric meter in order to get the electric and the heating to work. The heating system is 1980s electric wall heaters that give off less heat than the average human fart. A lot of the heat is lost through the attractive door above as there is a large gap that runs around the door (wide enough to fit a pound coin in). Good strategy to get people to spend more on heating????
We decided to take the children over to the advertised Crazy Golf and Children's Play Area.
Crazy Golf turned out to be really, really crazy.........there was none. Instead what greeted us was a pile of rubble, not a crazy golf course in sight.
And here comes some images of the Children's Play Area....
Nice? Rusted and broken.... The above image is that of the zip line, please note that there is no wire to zip line across on! Another outstanding job from Solway Holiday Village, my daughter had a wonderful time running from platform to platform.
The end of the slide....dented and dangerous, leaving a nice sharp edge for your child to gash their leg open on. The rest of the play area was not much better, I was struggling to find something that was actually intact and something where I wouldn't have to get a tetanus boast for my children when I got home. (I don't think this actually exists at Solway Holiday Village).
"Lets go and have a look at the rest of the FACILITIES" - I say............not at this stage feeling overly confident.
Picnic area.....
I could hardly hold myself back from running back to the chalet and making a quick sandwich.
The fountain...................
Lovely, isn't it? The aroma was just as nice as how it looked. If you looked closely you could see the upside down fish.............."daddy, why are the fish swimming upside down?" Kids,.. get you every time don't they? Makes you want to dive right in doesn't it?
Ok.....so as you can imagine by this point we were starting to get a little annoyed. We headed back over to the main complex to allow the kids to go to the soft play area, as there was nothing else to do. After discussing all the finer points of Solway Holiday Village we decided that we needed to say something,...."but before we do I would like to see the advertised farm, golf course and mini train ride", I said...
All three of these were situated on the other side of the park according to our trusty full colour map, that I am keeping as a memento of family holiday.
After pushing past the rusted gate you are presented with this....
I apologise but this is the best picture that I could get - the sign on the fence says "goats" looking further down the fence you can see a pig sty and,.......yes you guessed it......pigs. Not a goat in sight! In the opposite "field" there was a sign saying Grey Heron...........the Heron has had a better idea and gone to Centre Parcs.
Golf Course is next to this "farm".....
As you be able to tell this is the 9th Tee! What's that in the distance I here you ask....is it a flag (no don't be silly, why would you have a flag on a golf course)........is it a bunker (no, what use would a bunker be on a golf course)..........is it a Lama or an Alpaca?..........YES! Isn't that what is supposed to be on a golf course????? "Which hole are we aiming for?"
And finally......the mini train ride........choo! choo! Or as we prefer to call it...... a donkey. Not a train in sight, plenty of donkey's though!
I think a visit to the manager is in order.
We went to the reception desk and a young lad approached us and said....
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, I would like to know how I go about getting my money back..." I said
"Really? Is there something the matter?" - I really had to hold back the laughter, sarcasm and swearing, but I did and simply asked for the manager. The guy at the desk said that if we head back to the villa he would ask him to come over and speak with us about our problem!
